Tag: Violence

#22 – Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Beater

#22 – Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Beater

Do you like Pumpkin Pie? Have you ever given much thought to how those defenseless pumpkins are turned into the delicious paste you have grown to enjoy?
Enter Peter, a young man with a chip on his shoulder the size of his deformed left hip. Peter’s never been the happiest guy, but one thing does make his life perfect and it’s Pumpkin Pie. When Peter looked for a career field that was right for him and his mental issues, he was excited to discover there was a need for pumpkin beaters.

You see, every November 1st is the start of pumpkin season, where the massive amount of pumpkins on doorsteps begin to fear for their lives. People like Peter live for the thrill of hunting these wild gourds and pounding their delicate bodies into paste. Oh, it’s a savage process, but one that is perpetuated by our cultures need for pumpkin pie and other pumpkin related products around the holidays.

I guess we can say that it’s good for people like Peter to find their place in society and provide a service that many can’t stomach. On the other hand, when you see a man with a bat chasing down a defenseless pumpkin that once had a cute expression on its face, you wonder how far over the edge humanity has slipped.

So go ahead everyone, enjoy your pumpkin pie this year! Don’t think about the life that pumpkin lived before it reached your plate and definitely don’t think about the horrible way it met its demise.