Tag: slacker

#2 Cousin Julio

A few miles East of East L.A. in the city of La Puente there’s this guy I have to tell you about named Julio Cesar Tapado. At least that’s what his expired driver’s license says. But no one ever calls him that.  For you see this Tapado, is known to all as Cousin Julio. Everyone calls him that. Even people who aren’t related to him.  That’s just one of the many things about Cousin Julio that make absolutely no sense.

They say ignorance is bliss. That makes Cousin Julio the happiest guy in the world. He once asked me what the little creatures in the movie Gremlins were called. If he were any more stupid, he would have to be watered twice a week.

You see at first glance you would figure he’s a lazy dumb ass slacker. You would be right. He spends his days drinking beer, smoking weed, playing video games, and Photoshopping fake celebrity nudes and posting them online.

His greatest skill is being able to roll a joint while driving.  His proudest achievement in life  was his televised high speed chase and take down.

It’s on  YouTube. Check it out. Julio got skills

Cousin Julio’s lifelong dream is to someday do bong rips with his idols Cheech and Chong.