Tag: simon simeon

G. Brett Williams #17 – Simon Simeon

Simon Simeon – Simon Simeon is the teacher in charge of teaching students how to react to and handle anthropomorphic animal threats in the field. He was the product of an experiment by Nazi super-scientist Arnold von Schrect during WWII. Von Schrect experimented with mind control and advancing brain functions on primate specimens, mostly gorillas. Simon was by far his greatest achievement and his only notable success, showing a significant increase in brain activity, essentially evolving to human level intelligence. Von Schrect took Simon as his assistant in the lab and, unaware of the terrible things the Nazi war machine was doing (or unconcerned. He was an ape after all.) Simon was happy. After the war, the Russians overran Von Schrect’s lab and liberated his experiments. For the next few decades Simon would work, as a captive, on Soviet super and fringe science programs. He grew to loathe his human overlords over time, daydreaming about how he could crush them if only he could get his hands on their puny human skulls. To comfort himself, he spent the majority of his time perfecting Von Schrect’s data to create for himself a menagerie of antrhopomorphic animal friends. He was at the forefront of science in that field, which mattered little to the Russians since you couldn’t destroy American cities by launching talking dogs and hamsters at them. So, in a show of good will toward the collapse of the Soviet Union, the Russians released Simon into the custody and care of the American government. The Americans didn’t give a damn. They gave Simon a medal, a lab somewhere in the middle of nowhere and $100,000, then sent him on his way. Simon soon realized that a hundred grand wasn’t going to last him very long. He used the money to get a quaint home for he and his animal companions. When things became really lean he began looking for work and found it, quite sadly, in the only place that was willing to hire a former Gorilla super-scientist; the institute. He’s a gorilla, so he looks like, well, a big ol’ gorilla. He wears tiny glasses, a lab coat complete with ID badge and pocket protector, and some Hawaiian print shorts to cover his manhood. He is gruff and resentful, his class is tedious and difficult and he spends the majority of his time telling the students how he’d like to crush each of their skulls. Which of course he’d never actually do.