Tag: hippie

#7 Hemply Shroom

Hemply Shroom is left of liberal. He has a penchant for tie-dyes, crystals, veganism, free love, pot, shrooms, and LSD. His oneness with nature and anything that is ‘all-natural’ borders on psycho. Hemply loves flora and fauna so much that he wishes that humans would be wiped out once and for all so they’d stop killing all the plants and animals.  He’s so extreme that he believes tree  hugging is mere foreplay,  getting to first base if you will . If Hemply had it his way he’d be rounding third and sliding into home plate head first,  if you know what I mean.

Besides dry humping trees,  Hemply’s favorite  thing to do is to constantly push his extremist vegan views on others. His second favorite thing to do is organize drum circles.  His third favorite thing to do is play his guitar. Which he does very badly.

His aversion to both soap and shoes has earned him the title “Dirtiest Hippie of the Year” for the last six years running.

Hemply’s father a Colonel in the U.S. Army, considers his son to be “The biggest disappointment in my life.”