Tag: David

#5: Seamus

DAVID:  Well, what can I say about Seamus?  I mean he’s shorter than me, he’s got less hair than I do–

SEAMUS:  –I’m sitting next to you, you know that, right Davey?

DAVID:  Yeah, I know, but when am I going to have the chance to do this, y’know?

DAVID:  Annnnnyway–

SEAMUS:  sigh…

DAVID:  –he’s sort of like a bald Irish troll.  Oh, and he’s shite with women.

SEAMUS:  DAVID!

DAVID:  No, really – he is.  Like right now, just the three of us guys, he’s fine.  But the moment a woman walks into this scene, he shuts up and doesn’t look anywhere but at the gods-damned ground.  Doesn’t look up again until the girl’s gone, and then he’s back to his old self again.  He’s been like that for years!

SEAMUS:  I have not.

DAVID:  Years.

DAVID:  I mean, someone’s damaged the boy here, and done a right proper job of it, too.

SEAMUS:  That’s it, I’m done.

DAVID:  Seamus, wait, mate!  Don’t go!  I haven’t even talked about your good points yet!

DAVID:  ’cause there’s so many of them…

DAVID:  Y’know, I don’t think he’s gonna come back soon.

DAVID:  You can probably add that he’s sensitive to that list, too.

DAVID:  Just a thought.