Tag: cartoon
Day Eleven: Ardent Way
It had all lead to this, she’d put in a hell of a lot of effort to get this far, the odds had been far out of her favor and yet she had triumphed. A cup of coffee, altogether too hot and sweet, was hers. Triumph.
The darting eyes of waiters under thick black hair and too much pressure from the obnoxious American canoe competition team on table four had not looked her way, the steaming pots of cheap coffee and weak tea poured by without ever diverting in their path to her table but still she had triumphed over the odds. With a cunning combination of feminine charm and obstinate determination that comes from paying a ludicrous fee for the breakfast buffet she had broken through the ranks of waiting staff to her goal: the coffee. Kind of a shame that it tasted so awful.
~Tosche
Day Ten: Mystic Oats
A hairy hipster with magic in his hips and cosmic weight on his shoulders, blessed with phantasmagorical finger powers and cursed with sweaty socks — unwashed for going on three days now.
~Tosche
Day Nine: Space Piratex
Space, that was the dream. Space — the place children (our future) all across her country had lived for, before they discovered reality TV in their teen years, the place though which ufological wonks of all ages had wanted to drift.
The actual place was less majestic than the men and women of science-based television programing had promised and closer to an afternoon floating with the refuse of a billion people in the waves of a Lama Island beach in a waning Summer.
The Space Piratex probe didn’t mind, for a start she’d never been to any of Lama Island’s waste-disposal beaches and so was unable to see the sad similarity. No, an enterprising class of public school over-achievers hadn’t built her to despair at the state of the space, Space Piratex had been built to win that class the finals of the “Sweep It Under the Rug: Environmental Solutions” competition. Her directives were clear: clean, clean that cosmos up long enough to get her masters a photo in three of their local papers. It was a task she probably could have completed too, if it weren’t for those attention lacking kids and their rudimentary android building skill sets.
~Tosche
#13 Dino, the telekinetic dog
Dino good boy! Dino find tasty alien engine part! Now Dino move things without mouth or paw! Dino finally get that squirrel!!
Dino good boy!
#8 Zebra-Corn
When most people hear “Zebra-Corn” they maybe picture a regal unicorn like beast with a single horn and zebra stripes… But it’s actually something far less regal with a horrible reputation for how it “stalks” its prey.
Day Eight: Rum-Ram Bloodstold
Tired old man, tired old Bloodstold, in his throne of imitation leather and sipping a glass of tonic and lemon because he’s all out of gin. His runes are all cast, his deceitfully youthful body ached more and more as the nights when he can get a rise out of his magiks became increasingly few and depressingly mundane. Rum-Ram Bloodstold, the last of his kind in this world to not have given up and departed for the old soul’s dimension, took another sip of his tart drink and fondled thoughts of when the tarts he had at night weren’t just the liquid or pastry variety.
One more sip, Rum-Ram decided, one more sip and then a slip — into sober sleep.
~Tosche
Day Seven: Astromicus Manicus
On a hill side, in the sun and wind like a long-shot in a romcom, slipping through the dewy terrain while smiling and sweeping down the slope. Grunting and falling, shoe, body tripping in motion and landing in a crumpled heap at the incline’s base.
Mud on shirt, bruise on face, dent in dignity, hair still fine.
Astromicus rolled over, spine clicking into place and limbs hesitantly following direction of brain and body, tried to push upright and buckled at the attempt. Getting up and brushing this embarrassing fall off would clearly take some time, this lesson in not running down freshly wet grass would not take as long to absorb.
Day Six: Amorveous (Amy)
Two minutes, that was quick, indeed — a new record. Where once piping hot pudding and melting mountains of ice cream slouched were now faint streaks of creamy, crumbly, residue of dessert and regret. Amy finished polishing the bowl with her tongue — don’t ask where the mouth is — until the, now cool, ceramic surface tasted more of object and less of desire.
This jaunt into flavour country would mean a lot of mirror-gazing but damn, the descent into self doubt was tasty.
~Tosche
#6 Squirrel Yeti
The elusive beast is considered by most to be a myth but he exists high above looking down on us from his Tree-Top-Cave. Waiting for the zombie apocalypse when he can come back down and exhume the food he buried oh so long ago… man oh man is he hungry.
#5 Velociraptor Jesus
When he returns it will like that of a thief in the night (or out of nowhere like a Velociraptor)… clever Messiah.
#4 Flintpower Sky-Mountain
Born as Flint Rockmann in the late 70’s he took on his “spirit name” Flintpower Sky-Mountain
Day Five: Bodey Socksmon
Scruffy. Itchy skin under tight tufts of fur. Exasperated, exhausted, extinguished. With a yawn he is all these things and yet as he pulls up a cup, burgeoning on boiling hot, to his mouth and tips in a hot and sweet morning elixir, wipes from his mouth the sticky residue and caffeinated skin, he is for a moment none of these things. He ponders his first conscious thought since he and the sun rose — to shit or shave — and his day is begun.
~Tosche
#6 The Blue Flame
Height: 4’5″
Finisher: The Firebomb
Quote: “The blue of the flame is the HOTTEST part, baby!”
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