Author Archive: Marco Jimenez

#30 Etsy Betsy

This scarf is made from vintage yarn from my abdomen.

Etsy Betsy is pretty into vintage clothing and knits her own clothing to sell online.

#29 Jerry Blocker

In my day we had to punch stone with our bare fists. We didn't have any of these wooden pickaxes.

Jerry Blocker is an old man modeled after the minecraft universe. That’s where he goes.

#27 Leather Pig

He probably wears that under his street clothes.

Leather Pig is into some things you’ve probably never heard of.

#26 Otter

I trim, sometimes.

Otter is confident enough to take his shirt off at the clubs, even around all of the waxed twinks.

#24 Hipster Unicorn

My rainbow is a fixed gear.

Hipster Unicorn dyes his hair pink ironically.

#23 Wallie Douglas

My mom doesn't want me running around in gym because of my asthma

Wallie Douglas usually gets a doctor’s note exusing him from gym class.

#22 Mable Foxwald

Could you be a dear and take me to the pharmacy?

Mable Foxwald needs to pick up some milk of magnesia, and a box of kleenex.

#21 Middle Management Frog

That's enough of a lunchbreak, swim back to those reports.

#19 Bear Daddy

He's into leather. Especially gnawing on it.

When I asked Bear Daddy if he was a top or a bottom, he responded “MWWWRRRRHH”

#18 OccupyThanksgiving Turkey

I may get high but I refuse to be baked

OccupyThanksgiving turkey.

#17 Jim

Seasonal depression can be rough.

Jim, the suicidal maple leaf. This autumn has been rough.

#16 Tep

God of Nile ripples.

Tep is the littlest god of the Nile.

#15 Laverne

My doctor says aphids are bad for my cholesterol

Laverne is a ladybug with her own sense of style.

#14 Steven Fisher

NICE PRE-ALGEBRA BOOK, NUMBSKULL.

Steven Fisher is a nerd bully. That is, a nerd who bullies. His prime targets include cross-country jocks, popular girls and remedial math students.

#13 Alice Fester

Dogs always have to face right.

Alice Fester is an artist with a bit of an OCD situation. She draws everything 47 times before she’s ready to move on to the next idea.

#12 Buttsa Plenty

Girl don't even.

I decided I wanted a drag queen with a big ass named “Buttsa Plenty.” Took me a few drawings to figure out what she looked like–this worked for me.

#9 Riff, the Punk Rooster

I'm playin at the silo tonight you should come check it out.

Riff is a pretty badass rooster. He doesn’t take shit from anyone. Fuck you, farmer, I’ll crow whenever the fuck I want.

#6 Corporate Dodo

with these profit margins we may as well be extinct

I really have no idea where this came from. I’ve got nothing else to say about it.

#5 Kelly Fry

The life vest can be found in a pouch under your seat or whatever

Kelly is a flight attendant. Somehow her airline is cool enough that she can look the way she does and still work for them. I drew this one on the airplane from Florida to Massachusetts.

#4 Mr. Dennis

i am going to demonstrate the proper application of a condom.

Mr. Dennis is a sex ed teacher. I am not sure if he teaches middle school or high school. Either way, this drawing even creeps me out a bit, and I’m a weirdo.

#3 Ginger Snap

mm mm. i know you wasn't gonna dip me in a glass of milk.

Ginger snap is a sassy cookie. S/he ain’t got time for your bullshit okay?

#2 Pugball

he's not fat it's a condition

Pugball is the roundest pug. He has trouble getting around the house. He was born this way. He is proof that nature has a cruel sense of humor.

#1 Unicorn Steve

ugh no mom don't put holes in my hoodies it's so embarassing you don't even know

Unicorn Steve is a teenager who has a unicorn horn on his forehead. It is totally uncool. Everyone is totally looking at it he wants to go home okay?