Author Archive: J. James McFarland
Illustration and graphic design as career goals is evident through the massive amount of work I have been producing in the last few years. The entire focus and purpose of my life since 2006 has been a progression of moving my career into the illustration fields, and specifically the sequential art illustration field. Living in Portland I learned what sacrifices it takes to make a serious career out of illustration and design. For four years I have been self-publishing multiple zine and comic titles, doing 24 Hour Comics whenever possible, and tabling at cons in cities all over the Northwest and Widwest American States including Washington, Oregon, and Colorado.
My career history involves a over a decade in successful business management, and so eventually it is my goal to be a project manager for a graphic design firm, or editor for a comic book company, with attention always to penciling jobs when available.
It is my ongoing goal to pencil daily, render for at least three hours.
- J.
J. James
Illustration and graphic design as career goals is evident through the massive amount of work I have been producing in the last few years. The entire focus and purpose of my life since 2006 has been a progression of moving my career into the illustration fields, and specifically the sequential art illustration field. Living in Portland I learned what sacrifices it takes to make a serious career out of illustration and design. For three years I have been self-publishing multiple zine and comic titles, doing 24 Hour Comics whenever possible, and tabling at cons in cities all over the West.
My career history involves a over a decade in successful restaurant management, and so eventually it is my goal to be a project manager for a graphic design firm, or editor for a comic book company, with attention always to penciling jobs when available.
My professional graphic design and illustration portfolios are at   www.jjamesmcfarland.com   with updates fairly frequently.
All of my sites are viewable at   www.friendlybelligerent.com  and with updates fairly frequently.
In addition to 30 Characters in November, I will be consistently rolling out new material for my art blog at  www.friendlybelligerent.blogspot.com which means this will be a VERY busy month.
– J.
J. James Final Characters
What a busy month, I don’t remember sleep. Thanks for all your support who kept me motivated on this project, and those who volunteered to be a part of it. Take care of yourselves, and I’ll see you next November! J. James
Paisley Queen
When you look up in the night sky, and see a falling star, make a wish if you please but be aware that it may not be a star at all, it may be the Paisley Queen sailing through the evening.
“I’ve come for the wine. What shall we sample tonight?”
Often sought by others for truth and guidance, the Paisley Queen genuinely laughs it off.
“If they’re so stupid they need direction they might as well just have some wine and get over it!”
Casual Formal Server
Being the best there is at what I do is the easiest and most carefree way to be.
“Yeah, that’s right, I’m laid back and fun and formal and goofy, all at the same time. Try that on for size.”
You never know just what story is being built or considered when you pass me, or how you might be contributing to the sequence being built.
“I may be quiet, but I’m a deep thinker. Herpaderp.”
The Alanis Morissette Septet
They’re loud, they’re on note, and they’re possibly a bit drunk, too.
“It’s like raaaaaain, on your bedding, hey!”
Frequently switching up their acts, these seven like to stand out in a crowd. Hell, if they had their way, they’d outnumber the crowd.
“Isn’t it ironic? Don’t you think? Hey, wait, don’t forget me!”
Next Round
Known primarily by the noms du plur “Next Round,” this world renowned drink mixer and expert on various poisons is full of kind words.
“I can’t remember your name, but I’ll remember your drink every time.”
Moving around through the crowds, she is always on top of everything.
“Yeah, it’s true. Always on the move, always moving on up.”
Recumbent Man
Recumbent Man gave up his lifestyle of hoarding food, building shelters, and cleaning rifles to begin a trip around the world on his recumbent bicycle, barefooted, sunburned, and lean.
“I’m so hot. Use a cars as a catapult? That’s easy. I can ride, or I can launch myself here.”
Planning to be passing through your own town in the next few weeks, you need to be ready, or you’ll miss him when he flies past.
“Bicycle races are coming your way, so forget all your duties, oh yeah.”
City-Slicker
City-Slicker was once the kind of man who preferred beans, sweat, dust, and the lonliness of the plains, but now he has moved to the big city to use his newfound city dweller powers for the forces of good.
“Well, shit, it’s like, there’s only so much horsetail and whiskey in the world, sometimes a guy needs some watertowers and bridges.”
Often seen riding his steed, Scarlett, through the back alleys of the dirtiest neighborhoods in the city, City-Slicker is known for his keen sense of observation and timely knack of jumping into a situation to save others.
“Whel, ah’ll be. I seen this town, twernt nothin but a few shacks, two competing gangs, a bartender, a madam’s, and a gravedigger. Why cain’t a guy like me come to the big city and make a name for my self?”
Stupidest Man on Wheels
This man is just so, so stupid. But he never gets hurt.
“Shopping cart over a car? Done it. You want me to ride a dolley under a moving truck? Done it. Get out of the car, turn my back on it while it’s coming around towards me again? Sure, why not… wait, no, I done it too.”
Once known only for taping a camera to his head and flinging himself off of pinnacles at great height, now he has moved on to truly new pursuits.
“Watch me slowly take the front tire of this bike over the end of this picnic table. It’ll be fine, honest. I do this all the time.”
Cyborg Hill
Destroyed by the more cynical, tortured peers of his field, Cyborg Hill was rebuilt with esotirical alien alloys and is now powered solely by propane.
“If you weren’t my son, I’d hug you. You, uh, you’re my son, you know, with everything that entails… feelings of fondness and more… You know what I mean, don’t you, boy? ”
After his destruction of Coast City, Cyborg Hill has had a spotty career as a spacefaring villain with occassional status changes.
“Ginseng tea?? I’m not gonna get hopped up on dope! Who is calling me a liar, you or the machine? ‘Cause I need to know whose ass to kick! “
Thee Damned Irishman
Travis O’expo can take the heat, he keeps his ass in New York’s Hells Kitchen. With the waves of Irish immigrants pounding the shores of the decent folk of the city, it’s difficult for some to make a name for themselves, but not for this bastard.
“What part of that excrement did I come from? I been told Kelly, but I lost proof of it in my language in the asylum.”
Not one to take any crap of anyone, O’expo likes to remind people where the line exists between humor and reality.
“I don’t find that funny. Down with the Union, I will put a shank between your ribs if you don’t find that legendary.”
Elizabeth d’ Fiero
Elizabeth d’ Fiero has been the celebrity darling since her appearance with the Duke of L’angiers at the Royal Wedding. She is sought after for her keen observations of the elite.
“You see, darling, all that needs to happen for the people of the realm to allow atrocities to occur right before their noses is to turn it into a show! A wonderful, beautiful comedy of errs will make the bad medicine of reduced concern for honest policy go down like a warm drink.”
Blending her usage of shaming terminology with unpopular terms for other demographics, the Countess is open in her opinions of the way which power really affects the course of history.
“It’s all true, of course. The bread and circus meant to keep the little people busy. The folksy backwater types who prattle on about conspiracies not being ‘real’ enough, simply do not have any grasp on the depths of apathy which people like, well, like me, darling, have for the people like them.”
Agent Sophie
Agent Sophie is known for her attention to detail and her perserverence in the field. Junior agents often are interested in working with and learning about the world through partnerships.
“You see, it’s time to throw the ball. Ball. Ball. See? Ball. Ball. Now. Throw.”
Certainly not known for gruffness or fierceness, Agent Sophie is a big fan of the simple things, and occassional directness in conversation.
“Now let’s throw the ball. Ball. Now. Let’s throw the ball. Ball.”
Marsanne Muscadelle
Several years after her debutante ball, Marsanne Muscadelle reminds us that still still loves three things:Â Black Friday, fine Italian dresses, and a deep glass of rich, flavorful red wine.
“When I grind my shock prod into your ribs, and you hit the ground crying, your tears will be cut short by my bare feet grinding down on your skull.”
Known in more delicate circles as an old-fashioned, small town hospitalier and a fine connoisseur of subtle cedar and chocolate undertones (as long as it has fine long legs) Ms. Muscadelle remains available to only the most cultured of suitors, and does not make herself too open to proposal.
“I will unload this clip into your heart.”
Mandarin Peel
Mandarin Peel uses her nature abilities to blend into a crowd for the purposes of espionage.
“Communication not so hot. For your safe, please don’t bring the stranger girt into your room. The girt is dangerous, it will hurt your life.”
Formerly a Chinese supermodel, now one of the most sought-after espionage practitioners, Mandarin is now also known as the “Avenging Ghost.”
“Please let me look after your luggage and money. Take care the thief, don’t change money with stranger person.”
Destroyer
The woman known as the Destroyer is very much known as the one who will make you cry.
“I don’t like to have to accept people, my only role in life is to upset the flow of others, I will beat you, bruise you, and leave you begging to be able to deal with your shit on your own terms again.”
Universally known as the meanest person around, the Destroyer will completely disable you first with her severity, then make fun of your inability to understand the depths of her rage, and finally she will use the episode to slander you before others.
“Don’t just think that because I am pretty and blond that I would be automatically pleasant. I will disabuse you of your expectations.”
Lucinda Bellonte
Dressed in yellow She said Hello!
Lucinda Bellonte was my favorite jazz singer. She was know for the songs “Dressed in Yellow (she said Hello)†and “You can do what you want (in Living Color).â€
She says, “When the electro magnetic waves were fired down on my hometown, that is when most of the older people died. Those of us from the younger, wildly-irradiated demographic found ourselves enhanced.â€
Now her sonic humming powers and her gravity altering abilities are put to a task on a daily basis.
“The source of my powers, the electromagnetic waves which have continued to annihilate the inner cities, well, they’ve given me the physical abilities of moving at Legendary Speeds and Conquering Themselves.
I’ve got this DONE.â€
Maegan O’ Song
Maegan O’ Song is one of the Traveling Graces.
“Who Rocks, Who Rocks, Who Rocks the Roadhouse?!”
She may be modest, she may be observant, but she’s not quiet!
“I’m the loudest one there is! I’m cute, draw that too!”
Terrible Harry
Terrible Harry came into town along with the other Traveling Graces. He has a difficult time behaving as the more gentle society did, and he likes it that way.
“Have you heard? The bird bird bird, the bird is the word!”
He likes to run around wildly, and freak out on people went they least expected it. Everybody likes Harry, and everyone is terrified. He’ll terrify you with his excited dancing and premonitions…
“A tic tic tic tic tic tic tic BOOM dynamite!”
Jessica O’ Feathers
Jessica O’ Feathers fell from the sky one day, to bust open a can o’ whupp-ass on a diligent crew of plenty. She knows how to motivate a group and push a crowd to action.
“What does it take to be legendary? You got to know it, you got to know you know it inside and out! You got to move!”
One of many of the Travelling Graces, when Jessica O’ Feathers comes around, you know you have to represent and know your business.
“Where are all my roadies at? Make some noise!”
The One-ster
The One-ster is one of the most diabolical and vexing members of the Alliance of Dirty Buggers. His true name long since gone, he has become know as the “One Prince of Crime” and “Hey, that ‘One’ guy!”
“1! 1! 1! 1! 1! 1! 1! 1! Nobody can understand being an individual like I can!
1! 1! 1! 1! 1! 1! 1! 1! It’s my singular focus to keep unity and single handedly befuddle the community…1! 1! 1! 1! … all those… many great unwashed masses who have non-unique identities. 1! 1! 1! 1!”
Due to his difficulty functioning in cold temperatures because of the thermal-adjustment… …accident, several years ago, The One-ster now dresses in his signature one-adorned fur hoodie and warmed his toes in specially tailored deer hide boots. Curiously, he now carries ice grenades as well, and in between maniacal laughter and numerical digits he says,
“1! 1! 1! 1! 1! 1! 1! 1! 1! 1! 1! 1! Well, if they were fiery explosive grenades I wouldn’t be able to get near them either! Why not! 1! 1! 1! 1!
1! 1! 1! 1!”
Steve Dallas
#7
Steve Dallas
Born in a mountain side temple in the higher reaches of the continental divide, the man known only as Steve Dallas has become one of the most feared and dangerous men alive.
“The thing that most people don’t understand is that to be truly “LEGENDARY” you don’t need a fancy car or a good education, you only need to be…
…badass.”
Now, traveling the world and bringing the sweaty leather avenging and gunpowder social management techniques to all mankind, Steve Dallas is the one man you can count on in any pinch.
“Don’t worry, I’ll save your ass. Stand back.”
‘Ol Coyote Ooglee
Here we have Ol Coyote, the desert ghost. Left for dead by the economic system of the veldt, the Ol Coyote has gone to be alone with his thoughts in the dry harsh outer reaches.
“They said to me, they said, Coyote, you got to stop chasing so much skirt and so many attempts at being happy. Go away.”
So Mr. Ooglee disappeared from the world.
“If’n any folk come round here, I gonna stop them. Now I’m as happy as a roadrunner on speed.”
Thrashy Leonardo
Leonardo is the most dangerous man on two wheels in America, at least to himself. Raised in the third most watched trick bike family as rated by TBS, “Thrashy” has become an international legend.
“Those bastards tried to hold me back, ya see, but they can’t stop ME jumping hogs!”
Leaving the safety of the family bike derby atmosphere, Thrashy has gone on the become a one man act. Averaging less than three wrecks a day now has become Leo’s claim to fame.
“Like, so, I just took that thing, and jumped over that thing over there. Have you ever seen anything like it? Erp… uh, I’m gonna go lay down for a minute.”
Special Envoy Dekantur
Dekanur Obsopofolis is the foremost peace making diplomat in the known planetary system.
“What people need to know is that really, when it comes down to it, everybody simply wants to be left alone. The wars, the graft, that only comes with a system of management with too much power.”
People don’t want to go to war, Dekantur says, except in defense. Only leaders want to go to war. The people just want to be able to defend themselves.
“They just want to be able to live, so when I help reduce the power of governmental oversight in the cosmos, and the leaders are content to live within their means, than there is a peace which comes out from that and covers the hearts of men.”
Death Winds Pilot
When the public finally became aware of the NATO Program called “Hazed Earth,” the concentrations of barium and soil bleaches were increased nearly tenfold, transforming the hazy white seeding trails to a ruddy, blackened smear. The consensus was reached by the global economic powers to begin spraying at the lower elevations, merely a few hundred feet above the fields and homes of the Western world.
A pioneer of the early demograph duster pilot program explained his motivation in this manner: “You see, the developments in unmanned aerial vehicles were disregarded at the time because of the sheer costs involved in manufacturing so many machines. It was easier just to build the tank and propulsion system for a single pilot, ironically in a reversal of the original purpose for going unmanned. When we moved the forced labor system to being universal for all mankind, well, everybody could see the sense in volunteering to be taken care of and allowed to live through the purge in exchange for helping in the killing.”
Daiji Woroti
Daiji Woroti is a dangerous creature to encounter. Clumsy, nearsighted, and sort of socially awkward, Daiji Woroti is rarely accepted into any of the late night snake clan festivities after a fierce salamander hunt.
“It’sss ssso sssad, ssssuch ssssorrow and sssshame issss casssst on sssssimple gestures.  Sssso I ssstabbed Tarssssusss in hissss ssssshin, insssstead of sssssslaying a ssssssurly sssssalmander!  Ssssso whatssss?”
Gangly, and not too sure of how to start a conversation or make any friends, Daiji Woroti generally makes things even worse by using the worst and most out of place pick up lines on the ladies ever, and even misguidedly in front of his peers while screwin up his lines.
“Sssssso, isssss your wingsssss ssssssorta sssssaggy, causssse you jusssst ssssoared from the sssssky and sssstole my sssssign!”
Harridan Back-Biter
Harridan set out at an early age to get the biggest prize trophy in the veldt, the Love Dragon’s brightly shimmering epidermis.
“The world’s just too damned pessimistic and jaded to allow a majestic creature like that to just, you know, suffer so badly! Plus it’s, like, one of the last few in existence, so it was sort of a race.”
Fifteen years of searching the internet to find the most likely rumors to follow in the search for just a chance to see the rare, elusive beast, and finally, success! There were two million dollars invested in lawyers, medicinal depression alleviation and room service in the finest lofts in the outer metropolises in the course of the process.
“Now, we can market it as a new cosmetic and I get a trophy. I just want to be one with it, if I were in Portland still I’d just have to open it up and crawl on in there!” Harridan added with a giggle.
Setashia
Setashia is the protector of the most delectable mammals on the planet.
“For a long time, I wanted to be a CPA, maybe own a wine bar, but I found that it was too difficult to try to drink wine, do math, and still be able to interact with people with any form of civility.”
Setashia, determining that it would be better to become a mascot for all things simple minded and tasty, and to remove herself to a place of bitter coldness and solitariness, decided to lay down her glass and pencil, and become a creature of the deep still waters. Most everyone agreed that it would be better if she isolated herself too.
“Don’t call me a whale… that’s not accurate,” she exclaimed at the end of our interview. “Besides, if you wanted to call a whale, you’d have to use it’s own language!”
“Cack, cack, cack, aurooow, auroooow!”
Ninjamatographer
The man known as “Ninjamatographer” was once one of the most wealthy assassins in the world, taking double-blind “hit” assignments and saving nearly every penny. For nearly a decade Digu Tanaka pinched pennies and subsisted on a diet of rice and whole beans. He knew that he would never be in charge when he was so valuable as a man on the streets.
“One day, I told myself, one day I will get to be the one who calls the shots,” Digu exclaimed to us. “I will not spend my life being underrated.”
When he reached his monetary goal, he sold his well-wetted sword and picked up a camera and a boom mike instead. No longer must Digu push people around by fear of force or take from them by violence.
“Now people just give me their money and do what I say because I’m cool! There are more ladies who like to be seen with a big-man Hollywood director than with a feared and dangerous killer! Lots more!”
低 ä¼° – Digu Tanaka
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