Author Archive: Hunter
college student. this will be tough
# 3 Miguel, the Haunted Cocaine
Miguel was a coca field worker for a drug cartel in Columbia. Falsely accused of stealing from the cartel, Miguel was brutally slaughtered and buried in the coca fields to set an example for the other workers. Miguel’s tormented soul was subsequently transferred into the crop thus creating the Haunted Cocaine! Snorting of “Miguel, the Haunted Cocaine” causes intense fits of hysteria in which users experience Miguel’s final moments in life.
# 2 Frederick, Leader of the Youth Liberation League
Elevator Pitch: It’s an evil Richie Rich with the Goonies meets Hitler youth directed by Wes Anderson. Eventually Caspar the Friendly Ghosts gets thrown in too.
Eight year old Frederick is the unstable black sheep of the world’s wealthiest (and most delightfully eccentric) family. After polling poorly in focus groups, Frederick is written off as a major liability to the family’s public image. Frederick is left behind while the rest of his family flies to England to attend the royal wedding, only to die en route in a horrific plane crash. This leaves Frederick as the sole heir to the family fortune.
Frederick’s psyche is left shattered and he soon adopts a new persona to cope with life. The new Frederick is a deeply disturbed messiah figure who views all adults as being evil, corrupted by the institutions of modern life. Frederick dreams of a final revolution in which the children of the world rise up to seize power. Frederick uses his company to wage a covert war on the United States government. He does so by arming children with improvised weaponry (made by a colony of child laborer slaves on an island succinctly described as Saipan meets Disney World), cleverly disguised as the latest toy phenomenon. Frederick effectively arms and trains his sleeper cell army with funding from the enemy, Parents. Kids are organized into local chapters, similar to “The Goonies†style terrorist cells, with members often attending “space camp†style training centers during summer vacations. All hell breaks lose.
# 1 Undead Elvis
Synopsis
Individuals who achieve an enormous amount of fame in their lifetime become living ideas embodied by their own reanimated corpses. As a result, a number of major pop culture icons and political figures have carried on after death, existing for as long as they remain prominent in the public consciousness. Most of the undead retreat into the shadows of the supernatural underground. Others choose to live more alternative lifestyles (Keith Richards for example died in 1978 and has effectively carried on since).
Bored with the quiet life of an undead pop star, Elvis joins a rag tag detective agency founded by President Theodore Roosevelt. At the start of the series, Roosevelt is recently re-deceased, replaced by an amnesic JFK.
Rounding out the squad we have Albert Einstein and the perpetually tripping astral projection of Timothy Leary. Together, they specialize in mysteries of the supernatural order in ZOMBIE PULP!
#30Characters Chatter…