Author Archive: CactuarJoe
I'm a video game critic and artist for RandomNPC.com, a site dedicated to console and PC role-playing games.
#27 and 28 – Mr. Holmson and Sprocket
There’s a great big secret hiding under the research the NMSA does into manipulating nanoparticle slime, and as the primary author of the bill that created the Agency, Mr. Holmson has spent his life surrounded by it. As he is not technically an agent of the NMSA, nor any more of a hacker than most slime trainers, Mr. Holmson’s intimate knowledge of the secrets of nanoparticle material gives him a unique and often incomprehensible motivation. Mr. Holmson can often be found challenging other trainers to fights, though his reasons for doing so remain inscrutable. On a personal level, he comes off as everybody’s funny old uncle, though every now and then there’s a hint that this is more an act than anything else.
As a combatant, Sprocket is actually fairly middling. Though very sturdy, its offensive capabilities are fairly limited, and its agility is very low. It’s main strategy is centered around its ability to subtly manipulate the nanoparticle material of enemy ooze monsters. Though it can’t break slime down, like Paracycle, or corrupt it, like Beelzebub, Sprocket’s ability to alter ooze at a distance makes it one of the more dangerous opponents a trainer can face.
Sprocket’s keywords were Modern Art, Cylinder, Hovering, Cracked, Orbitars, and Gears. We’re getting pretty close to the end here, and I’m really happy that these keywords lent themselves so well to the kind of character I needed. Leading up to the last two characters in this challenge was kind of a big job, ‘cos there’s a big reveal I’ve been planning. >:D
#25 & 26 – Angela and Wendigo
We’ve seen some of the highest-ranking hackers and agents, and as Cynthia and Gordon represent the pinnacle of their trainer classes, Angela is at the top of her class. A senior in high school and major rival of Helen and her Pitrap, Angela uses a blob monster named Wendigo that can quickly and easily shift between different forms, in order to hunt ooze wherever it occurs. The form we see here is Wendigo’s standard offensive form. A compromise between bulk and mobility, this form uses its high speed and heavy weight to shove opponents out of the way while the exposed core on its underside quickly absorbs slime. Wendigo’s other forms include a slender, deer-like shape for high speed, a blocky, spiked shape used for heavy combat against other blob monsters, and a tall, tower-like shape used to scan the city for ooze. In very serious situations, Wendigo can actually shift between forms during combat. It’s a dangerous tactic, given how vulnerable Wendigo is while shifting, but the sheer shock value can end battles very quickly.
As a trainer, Angela comes from a family of slime hunters, and became obsessed with the competition at a young age. Having been around ooze monsters her whole life, she sees the betterment of these creatures as being her only real job, regardless of the scholarships and other rewards that come from the hunt. As a middling to average student, Angela is acutely aware of her academic shortcomings, and has been known to use ooze hunting as an excuse to avoid school. In general, however, and despite a rather prickly exterior, Angela is an empathetic, intelligent young lady with a great deal of drive.
The keywords for Wendigo were Animal, Bulky, Four Legs, Branches, Storage, and Tail. Obnoxiously enough, the first thing these phrases brought to mind was an evolved form of Alice’s Minotaur, so I had to do some shuffling to make sure Wendigo didn’t come off as a clone of Minotaur. And actually, that sounds like a pretty interesting fight. 😀
#23 and #24 – Gordon and Beelzebub
A high-ranking NMSA agent and kind of a vicious dickwad, Gordon Clearwater is the son of the current head of the Nanomachine Suppression Agency. As such, he is entrusted with certain responsibilities that the NMSA would prefer the public not know about. Gordon himself is the kind of guy who gets pleasure out of petty revenge and childish controlling behavior, making him a genuine pain to work for.
Beelzebub is actually the code name for a unique blob monster developed by the NMSA. Its purpose is to introduce specialized code into the programming of construction ooze, allowing the NMSA to track which trainer has what ooze. The existence of this code is a closely held secret, but there are rumors that it may have a more sinister purpose, especially amongst hackers who have carefully dug through the programming.
The keywords for these two were Geometric, Therian, Hovering, Thorns, Ghostly, and Chomping Jaws. I played pretty fast and loose with these keywords, as I’m trying to introduce the actual main conflict of the story here. I hope you enjoyed the disgusting giant fly, at any rate. ^^
#21 and #22 – Cynthia and Paracycle
At last, we meet the mysterious owner of the underground hack shop Stygia! Though rarely in the store, Cynthia’s influence is undeniable; she’s a button-down, serious competitor who calmly analyzes any situation before taking action. As one of the oldest trainers around, Cynthia has a lifetime of experience around blob monsters that informs the way she treats the creatures. That is to say, she sees blob monsters as sentient creatures, and this belief dictates the actions she takes, and even the strategies she uses in combat.
Cynthia’s partner is Paracycle, a spectacularly dangerous foe for any trainer to face. Though not particularly resistant or able to dish out big hits, Paracycle is nevertheless a fearsome opponent because of the abilities displayed by its unique exposed interlocking core. This core fires a transmitting beam that can suppress the connections between individual nanoparticles, turning a coordinated ooze monster into a pile of confused individual nanomachines.
Keywords for these two were Modern Art, Sphere, Six Legs, Shell, Fungus, and Screws. It was a pretty wacky collection of phrases, and it actually took me a while to figure out how to fit them together.
#19 & #20 – Erin and the Rabbit
She genuinely believes that there is nothing more important than teaching, and often comes off as cloying and even a little creepy at times. She actually got into ooze monsters at a late age, thinking that it might help her “connect with the young adults†in her charge, as she put it. Though not naturally given to organized sports, Erin discovered a love of competition in ooze fighting, and she enjoys helping her students test their creations with the same level of enthusiasm she brings to teaching.
The Rabbit is a pretty good indication of the kind of person Erin is. Though there’s a vast difference in their sizes, the Rabbit is high-energy, high-speed, and slightly disturbing. In combat, the Rabbit uses its agility and a series of holographic projections to increase its evasiveness, while relying on powerful kicks and misdirection to deal damage to the opponent.
Keywords for the Rabbit and Erin were Animal, Humanoid, Two Legs, Unexpected Hands, Plant Parts, and Antennae. And I think this is the first entry where I’ve managed to use every single keyword! I’m actually pretty happy with the way this one turned out; Erin is equal parts FLCL’s Miya-jun and my own Cool Dude art teacher from high school, Mr. Schnieder. And the Rabbit’s creepy, alien-headed ear-handed cuteness is exactly what I wanted. So… Go me, I guess! 😀
#17 and #18 – Steven and Spring
Though mostly a regulatory agency, there are certain instances where the NMSA feels the need to tip the scales a bit. In such circumstances, Steven Godwin is the man they call. Not officially an agent of the NMSA, Steven is the guy they call when they need someone to hang around in back alleys, or make sure that someone loses a specific match. Mr. Godwin likes to think of himself as a consummate professional who does what needs to be done, but in reality he’s more of an amoral gangster.
As he’s not an official NMSA agent, Mr. Godwin is allowed to use a critter of his own design. Though not a particularly imaginative beast, Spring is built to get jobs done; a master of ambush tactics, Spring can use its tapeworm-like body to fit into very small areas, or wind itself up in order to unleash a powerful whip-like strike. Spring’s overall poor condition is a testament to Steven’s skillset; he has no idea how to maintain or repair Spring, and sending it to Stygia for repairs might reveal details of Mr. Godwin’s line of work.
The keywords I got for these two were Geometric, Thin, One pair of wings, Cracked, Grabby Hands, and Gears. I feel like I’ve been getting Gears and Wings a lot, but that’s okay. There’s a lot you can do with those keywords. Also, we’ve been on kind of a run of jerk characters here lately, which I hope turns around soon. These guys are depressing. 😛
#15 and #16 – Alice and Minotaur
A high school dropout and perennial bully, Alice works as security for the illegal hack shop known as Stygia. Basically, it’s up to her to remove anyone that the owner doesn’t want in the shop — not always an easy task, given the nature of Stygia’s customers. Alice is an unsubtle, pushy lout, and she gets along with Morry, who tends the counter, like a couple of cats in a sack. At best, the two act like argumentative siblings.
Alice’s partner, Minotaur, is a perfect fit for her. A creature of sheer physical force, Minotaur’s main strategy in combat is to simply pick the enemy up and throw them as far as possible. In a pinch, it can use its heavy cubic shape as a full-body hammer attack, but for the most part, Alice doesn’t ask for anything but sheer bulldozer force.
For these two, the RNG threw out Modern Art, Cube, Four Legs, Horns, Animal Ears, and Facial Hair. And now that I think of it, I should’ve given the critter a goat beard! Gah, totally slipped my mind. Oh well.
#13 & 14 – Helen and Pitrap
The one thing you really need to be competitive in the world of ooze monsters is a hunting ground. Helen, an obsessive tinkerer and exceptionally driven third year student, is one of the most successful hunters because she’s managed to corner one of the most profitable hunting grounds in the city; the local dump. She uses her partner, Pitrap, to manipulate a network of vine-like appendages set throughout the junkyard, in order to quickly and efficiently hunt down the masses of ooze that get thrown away every day.
Of course, such a useful source of slime would hardly go unnoticed, and so Helen and her partner do have to be ready to defend their claim. Fighting Pitrap in its natural environment is more or less suicide; there’s no way to predict from which way you’ll be attacked when the entire junkyard is part of Pitrap’s network. But trying to corner this duo outside of the dump isn’t a great idea, either. Pitrap is far faster than it looks, can use its flexible limbs to climb sheer walls, and the leaves on its back can actually be extended to allow for limited gliding. Its huge size also adds a great deal of power to the whip-like strikes Pitrap uses as its main offensive tactic, and its big, bulbous body conceals multiple computer cores that can be easily shifted around inside the main bulk of the critter. All in all, these two are exceptionally dangerous competitors, and not to be taken lightly.
The keywords for these two were Animal, Tall, Cracked, Thorns, Storage, and Two pairs of wings. Aaaand yeah, I bent the definitions of these keywords nearly to the breaking point. ^^; The only one I really skipped was Cracked, which is okay by me; I seem to be skipping one keyword per set anyway.
#11 and #12 – Eddie and Venus
Up until now, most of the trainers and monsters we’ve seen have been pretty low on the competitive scale. Venus here is probably our first real example of a high-level competitive blob monster; Eddie, on the other hand, is nowhere near our first example of a competitive-level trainer. See, Eddie is the son of a very rich construction magnate, and having a very large, powerful monster under your control is a sign of real success. And heaven forbid a rich kid’s gonna walk around without the latest in status-proclaiming technology, so daddy took it upon himself to get the best monster money could buy. He even commissioned a famous artist to design the creature’s final appearance, which is why it seems so completely out of place next to a precocious teenager like Eddie.
Let’s take a look under Venus’s hood, shall we? First off, Venus has multiple computer cores, which are required to manage the huge amount of nanoparticle material that makes up her body. These interlocking cores also boost her defense significantly, since she can afford to lose one or two without going completely offline. The egg-shaped things that orbit her body are used for defense and scouting, as well as giving her a way to explore smaller, tighter areas that her huge body would never fit into. They can also be used for offense, boosting the sonic resonance patterns that form Venus’s main attack method.
Of course, all of this is rather lost on Eddie. Rather than being stunned or worried about the frankly immense power that Venus affords him, Eddie’s decided that the clothes make the man. And since he’s got the latest in blob monster technology, he’s obviously the best trainer ever. In short, Eddie’s the kind of kid who confuses buying his way to the top of the leaderboard with being extremely good at the game.
The keywords I got for Venus’s design were Geometric, Sphere, Whale fins, Lantern, Eggs, Orbitars. Usually, the Geometric keyword suggests that the resulting monster will be an NMSA agent, but in this case, I felt that the strong suggestion of a whale felt better with a student, especially if it was a student with ties to the Agency.
#09 and #10 – Coriander and Le Pup
Many of the hackers who are interested in slime hunting are actually far more interested in the things they can DO with ooze than the simple act of acquiring it. Coriander — real name Alice Monterey — is one of the most enthusiastic proponents of ooze as a fashion statement. Not one to directly compete with others for nanopartical material, the bounties Coriander offers for slime is actually a major source of income for other hackers, and even some less-scrupulous NMSA agents.
Le Pup is actually just one of many, many cores owned by Coriander. As part of her philosophy towards nanoparticle ooze, she uses the multiform ooze to accessorize her retro-futuristic sense of style. As a result, most of her cores are actually fairly weak, and are of little use in a fight.
The keywords that my RNG threw up for Coriander and her disturbing floating pug were Modern Art, Therian, One Pair of Wings, Collar, Tail, Bulldog Mouth. I actually went through a couple designs for this pair, some more menacing than others. Coriander ended up winning out just because I love spacesuits.
#7 & #8: Barry and Gentleshrimp
A rather free-range young lady, Barry is a track star that revels in the absurd. Her name is actually short for Beryl, a name she hates, from parents she’d just as soon ignore. Barry’s pretty popular at school, and no slouch in academics, though she’d do a great deal better if she slowed down instead of trying to rush through everything.
As with its mistress, the Gentleshrimp is built for speed. By keeping its mass low and size small, Barry can search for slime in areas larger monsters can’t, giving her a solid advantage in a city full of small places to hide. The top hat actually serves no purpose whatsoever; Barry just likes it.
The Gentleshrimp’s keywords were Animal, Thin, Six Legs, Gears, Tail, and Hat. The Gears actually turned into the lobster plates on shrimpy’s back, so I don’t feel too terrible about leaving them out. And overall, I’m rather fond of Barry and her crustacean, which is actually annoying me a bit. See, thanks to the election, I spent less time on them than any of the previous designs, but I like them more. Which makes no sense to me.
#05 and #06 – Emily and Surveillance Drone 0024
A fairly typical agent of the NMSA (Nanopartical Mass Suppression Agency), Emily Granger serves as a Liason Officer in a local high school. Her job is to record the destruction of nanoparticle ooze, and see that scholarship money and other rewards are given out accordingly. She’s also tasked with seeking out particularly talented students who might be interested in joining the NMSA. A basically uncomplicated person, Emily sees her job as protecting the students involved in hunting slime, and membership in the NMSA as the highest thing a hunter can aspire to. She occasionally gets irritated with the decisions of her superiors, which she sees as frustratingly random, but for the most part, she’s a loyal, even dull, agent.
Agents are assigned specific nanoparticle cores depending on their job. As Emily’s job requires her to keep tabs on student, she was assigned a Surveillance Drone. 0024 is an absolutely typical version of this type of core, completely unmodified from default. Generally speaking, the core a person chooses to use says a lot about the person who uses it, and in this case, the dutiful adherance to rules and regulations, regardless of any use that might be had from further modification, speaks volumes about Emily’s attitude.
The keywords I received for this design were Geometric, Humanoid, Four Legs, Choming Jaws, Scrying, and Bulldog Mouth. I was more selective than before when deciding what to use, but I made an effort to incorporate everything that I could. I’m actually rather fond of the Surveillance Drone in this case, but then I love blocky little robots. Heck, my favorite Pokemon is Metagross. ^^b
#03 & #04 – Morry and STX-04
Counter-worker and sales associate for the underground hack shop “Stygiaâ€. Basically, if you see a trainer using illegal modifications (ie, basically everyone), they probably got it here. While in school, Morry was heavily into slime hunting, but never really amounted to much. That isn’t a knock on his skill as a trainer; hunting is intensely competitive. But after he left school, Morry found that hunting was the only real interest he had, and he wasn’t qualified to make a living at it. He became a counter tender at Stygia mainly as a way to stay in the game while still making enough money to live. It’s given Morry a kind of hard-knock attitude towards life, but he’s a kind person at heart, and has found a genuine passion for helping kids make their partners the best they can be.
The monster a person builds says a lot about how they fight, and Morry’s partner, STX-04, is a master of misdirection. Looking at its huge, bulky body, you might be forgiven for not noticing that STX-04’s core and sense organs are actually in its hands. STX-04 started off as a standard assistance core that lended a hand at Stygia, but Morry’s constant tending and tweaking eventually frustrated Stygia’s owner to the point where he gave the robot to Morry just to get it out of the shop.
The keywords I used for designing these two were Modern Art, Bulky, Hovering, Ghostly, Multiple Heads, and, perhaps best of all, Unexpected Hands. I hope to see that last one again. 😀
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#01 and #02 – Ceta and Chally
Not a particularly competitive trainer, Ceta’s success at slime hunting comes mostly from the fact that she specializes in an area nobody else reallly wants to try – underwater. She and her partner have found large colonies in the bay where she hunts. Born and raised near the sea, she’s far more interested in swimming than fighting, and hopes to use the scholarship money she’ll get to become a marine biologist.
Ceta built Chally to support her underwater, using its exposed computer core to provide light and improve enemy absorption underwater. Chally’s abilities are highly tailored to fighting in water, which makes it rather vulnerable out of its native element, and contributes to Ceta’s unwillingness to confront other trainers.
The keywords for Chally’s design were Animal, Tall, Plesiosaur Fins, Collar, Plant parts, and Lantern. I decided to throw out the “plant parts†keyword, because I couldn’t find a way to incorporate it without having the design go totally into left field. I’m pretty happy with Ceta and Chally’s names, though. Both of these characters were named for ocean deities; Ceta was named after Ceto, Greek goddess of sea monsters; Chally, though, was named for Chalchiuhtlicue, the Aztec goddess of waterfalls. Pruning it back to a name typical to sea monsters like Nessie or Champ was pretty simple. ^^
2012 Challenger: Michael Beckett
Hey there, everybody! Michael Beckett, returning challenger here. My project last year was History Classes, a series of historical figures designed to fit RPG character classes; George Washington as an Onion Knight, Carrie Nation as a Berserker, that sort of thing. It spawned a whole other blog, Thematic Conversion, which combines different ideas every month to create something new. This year, however, I’m doing something a little different. I’m calling this year’s project Blobby Little Monsters, and it’s my first real experiment in world building. So first let’s talk about the setting, and then I’ll get on to the nuts and bolts of character creation. ^^ Continue Reading
#30 – Theodore Roosevelt – Red Mage
Full disclosure time! Teddy here was actually the spark that started this whole concept, and he’s switched back and forth between a number of classes during this month. At first, I thought his wide-ranging and adventurous personality would make him an excellent Ranger; then, after seeing his gleeful attitude towards war, I almost gave him the Berserker class; ultimately, what dissuaded me from either of these classes was the fact that Teddy wasn’t *just* a war president, or *just* an adventurer, he also had a voracious intellect and an interest in doing what was right for the people around him. Theodore was such a wide-ranging personality that, for a while, I considered abandoning him just because I couldn’t think of any one class that could possibly fit him.
That’s when I remembered the Red Mage. The ultimate jack of all trades, the Red Mage can use physical attacks, offensive magic, defensive magic, and even healing, all at once. The Red Mage will never be as powerful as any class that specializes in just one of these things, but it doesn’t often need to; just being able to do them all at once can be a massive asset. And in the end, that flexibility is what made Teddy such a great president; the ability to do what the situation required.
#29 – Carrie Nation – Berserker
A tireless fighter for Prohibition, Carrie Nation was, to put it mildly, quite a character. Her big shtick was storming into bars with her hatchet and breaking the bar open — and keep in mind that at this point, she was already in her early fifties. She was arrested no less than 30 times for her vandalism — she called the attacks “hatchetations†— and fined a pretty hefty amount. If nothing else, Carrie had a massive flair for the dramatic. Heck, later in life she legally changed her name so that she could introduce herself as, and this is true, “Carry A. Nation.†Eventually she moved on to less violent means to spread her views, including a newspaper called “the Hatchet†and an abortive tour in Vaudeville, but she never lost that fire.
Similarly, the Berserker is the closest thing RPGs have to a single-minded class. Berserkers are traditionally a special brand of the Warrior class that sacrifices the ability to control the character in question in return for a massive boost in attack strength. Berserkers can be very useful, but the player usually needs a fair amount of luck, and the lack of control can make it difficult to strategize. Given that Carrie had one cause, and viewed everything in life through the lense of that cause, putting her in the Berserker class was an easy choice.
#28 – Peter Jennings – Scout
I have a definite soft spot for Peter Jennings. When I was a kid, he was my Edward R. Murrow, the epitome of respect, trustworthiness, and class. In many ways, seeing him doing the news every night really kindled my interest in history, politics, and current events. As a reporter, Mr. Jennings was a pretty impressive guy; a high school dropout, he rose through the ranks to become one of the big three newscasters of the 1980s and 90s.
Personally, though, I think the best work Mr. Jennings did was as a foreign correspondent. He cut a dashing figure in a tan vest, and his utter unflinchability was amazing. Its this skill in unfamiliar terrain that led me to cast Mr. Jennings in the role of Scout. Though more common to Real-Time Strategy than RPGs, the Scout tends to be a fast, frail character, sort of a midpoint between the Ranger and the Rogue, and often uses terrain-based skills.
#27 – Irma Grese – Dark Hunter
I actually waffled back and forth quite a bit on whether or not to include this particular nutjob in the project, buuuuut… Well, for a start, she’s a Nazi, and by all accounts, a rather sadistic one. But she was sadistic in such a stereotypical, almost comically Nazi way. Y’see, Irma was an officer stationed at a concentration camp, and apparently liked to wander around the place wearing heavy boots and carrying a whip. Throw in a bass-heavy soundtrack and she could’ve been a BDSM film, albeit a particularly tasteless one. I mean, her nickname was “the Beautiful Beast,†which is one step away from being a professional wrestler.
Although I normally try to pick broadly used classes, in this case, the Dark Hunter was just such a perfect fit that I couldn’t help but choose it. Dark Hunters are unique to the Etrian Odyssey series, where they perform the role of status mage and debuffer, using swords and whips to inflict status effects and restrict the enemy’s movements. They have a very serious BDSM vibe, being clad in mostly leather; heck, their strongest attack — which can only be used when the enemy is completely restricted — is called Ecstasy. I guess that’s why it’s such a good fit for Irma here; they’re both a bit on the nose. ^^;
#26 – Ernst Haeckel – Druid
In general, the Druid is usually presented as a weird sort of combination between the practical and the spiritual. Yes, says your basic Druid, I believe in the fundamental oneness of all things and the undying beauty and power of nature, but it just so happens that I use that belief to sic bears on marauding monsters. In the same way, Ernst Haeckel was an amazing artist, but he used his skills to describe something like 150 new species, a feat which included the majority of the Kingdom Protista.
Haeckel himself was an intriguing combination of spiritual and practical. He was an expert biologist, naturalist, and physician, but was also a world class philosopher and artist. He supported the then-new theory of evolution, and yet also supported the German Romantic movement. Heck, Haeckel coined a large number of the terms we use for basic biological concepts (including “phylum,†“ecology,†and “stem cellâ€), and yet he founded a group called the Monist League whose only purpose was to spread his religious and philosophical beliefs. I suppose half the reason he’s included here is just because I find him an endlessly fascinating contradiction.
#25 – J. Robert Oppenheimer – Black Mage
Physicist, political activist, and father of the atomic bomb, J. Robert Oppenheimer has become a kind of modern Faust figure. Though he participated in the construction of the most destructive weapon ever used in war, Mr. Oppenheimer felt that the proliferation of nuclear weapons could be prevented by the United Nations; in fact, he believed that he could control where his invention went next, and who used it. As many inventors have found, there simply is no way to put the genie back in the bottle.
Black Mages tend to be the go-to damage class in RPGs, using elemental affinities and raw strength of stats to nuke enemies from afar. In general, the Black Mage can be seen as an equivalent to the Sorceror or Wizard, but much more straightforward in its approach to dealing damage. Given the way Mr. Oppenheimer’s research was applied, and his own ecclectic and often unsubtle means of expressing himself, I felt a Black Mage would be appropriate for him.
#24 – Matthew Henson – Geomancer
In general, history isn’t always fair. God only knows how many significant figures in human history have been forgotten, or worse, glossed over in favor of more socially acceptable figures. Matthew Henson is a good example of this; even though Mr. Henson was indisputably the first human to reach the North Pole, for years he was ignored in favor of the more socially acceptable Robert Peary, who was credited with being the first person to set foot on the North Pole despite being unable to actually walk at the time. It’s all a bit ironic, given that Henson was first hired for his skill in seamanship and navigation, and was considered to be little more than a servant by Peary. Frankly, I’d give anything to see what Peary’s face looked like when he found that Mr. Henson was to be honored by the US Congress with a duplicate of the silver medal awarded to Peary for being the first man to the Pole, let alone the speaking tour that followed.
Geomancers hold the unique and dubious honor of being both an extremely useful class and an extremely limited class. Geomancers rely on their surroundings for their attacks; a Geomancer standing on stone, for example, would be able to use an Earth-elemental attack, or an Ice-elemental attack while standing on snow or ice. Though limited in flexibility, Geomancers usually compensate for this by being well above average in attack strength, or even causing status effects with their abilities. Unfortunately, there’s a rather dangerous downside to this, in that monsters that appear in a specific area usually follow its elemental theme. Monsters found in a snow field, for example, will usually resist or absorb Ice-elemental attacks, and the Geomancer’s lack of flexibility means there isn’t normally much that can be done about it.
#23 – Egon Schiele – Necromancer
I’ve purposefully tried to avoid doing too many artists during this challenge, just because I didn’t want to turn this into Art History Classes, but Egon Schiele fit the Necromancer mold so well that I just couldn’t help myself. Mr. Schiele was one of the earliest Expressionists, and his work straddles the line between erotic and grotesque, with a definite theme of death. Mr. Schiele’s life was full of unpleasant things — war, and the early death of his father from syphilis, amongst other things — and it obviously had a very strong impact on his work.
A bit more common as enemies than as player classes, the Necromancer is the class of choice for the morbid manipulation of the dead. Console RPGs tend to also have Necromancers using powerful enemy debuffs and control magic. Given the quality of motion and lifelike appearance or Egon Schiele’s work, I find it entirely possible that he would have animated the dead if he’d had the ability to.
#22 – Jim Henson – Puppeteer
The death of Jim Henson actually came as quite a shock to my younger self. I was barely 7 years old at the time, and so Mr. Henson’s creations were still a big, big part of my life. I think a part of me was just terrified that all of the characters he had created would simply poof out of existance along with him, but of course they didn’t. It took me a while to understand that the really great artists leave behind work that lives well beyond their lifetime, and this was true of Jim Henson’s work in a very literal sense.
Puppeteers, also called Puppetmasters, are a rather rare class in RPGs. They tend to fill the same gamespace as either Monster Tamers — sending critters into battle while they hang back — or Black Mages — using their creepy critters to cast offensive magic — so Puppetmasters don’t tend to show up unless the roster of classes is genuinely huge. Mr. Henson’s design here is actually against the grain of most Puppetmasters, too, since this class tends to emphasize the creepy puppet aspect. And Muppets could certainly do creepy (I point you to the Skeksis of The Dark Crystal for examples), but Mr. Henson himself was basically a big puppy dog.
#21 – Johnny Ramensky – Thief
These days, it seems like the ideal of the Gentleman Thief is a dying breed. And so we present Johnny Ramensky, Thief-y counterpart to Our Lady of the Rogue Shotgun miss Belle Starr. Johnny here was a career criminal back in Scotland during the early 20th century, and quickly garnered the nickname “Gentle Johnny,†as he never used violence, targeted only businesses, and never resisted arrest. Mr. Ramensky was pretty dang skilled, combining his talent for gymnastics with a knowledge of safecracking that made him a master catburgler of the old school. Johnny further proved his mettle during World War II, when he became — and this is 100% true — a parachuting safe-cracking commando. He’d drop below enemy lines, break through Axis defenses, steal their secrets and high-tail it back home. His most amazing caper involved breaking open no fewer than 14 safes in one day, a feat that earned him some impressive commendation.
As I mentioned in the Rogue entry, the Thief is the more item-obsessed of the two outlaw-style classes. Thieves specialize in jumping behind the foe’s guard and stealing them blind, sometimes causing damage or status effects at the same time. The line between Thief and Rogue is often a bit thin, just like the line between Robin Hood and common cutpurse, but given Johnny Ramensky’s disavowal of violence and warm regard towards the people who were trying to catch him, I felt Thief was a good fit.
#20 – Ferdinand von Zeppelin – the Cid
In every Final Fantasy game, there is a Cid. Sometimes he’s a mechanic, sometimes he’s a warrior, but he’s usually connected to airships in some way. Personally, I think that’s half the reason Cid is such a well-liked figure in the series; seeing him means you’ll soon be able to skip over those obnoxious mountain ranges.
But anyway, if I were to cast human history in the same light as a Final Fantasy game, Ferdinand von Zeppelin would be our Cid. The scion of a noble family, Ferdinand joined the army at a young age. His interest in airships was kindled when he fought in the American Civil War, acting as a balloon observer for the Union Army of the Potomac. The designs von Zeppelin later penned would lead to the construction of the first truly usable airships in human history. Von Zeppelin never lived to see the shutdown of Germany’s airship program due to the Treaty of Versailles, or the ultimate destruction of its PR in the Hindenburg disaster, but regardless of the fate of his particular inventions, Ferdinand von Zeppelin’s work brought forth the age of mass air transit, which was a huge factor in creating our modern world.
#19 – Josephine Baker – Dancer
Though best known as a depression-era dancer, Josephine Baker was also a civil rights advocate, member of the French Resistance, and adoptive mother to no less than twelve children. She had one heck of a life; she was born into poverty and ended up on the streets at age 12. At age 15, she joined a vaudeville act in St. Louis before moving to New York and performing in various Broadway revues during the Harlem Renaissance. By the time Ms. Baker was 19, she was the highest-paid chorus girl in vaudeville, and that was far from being the most amazing thing that happened during her life. Ms. Baker moved to France and hung out with Ernest Hemmingway and Pablo Picasso. Ms. Baker owned a cheetah with a diamond collar. Ms. Baker invented the banana dance. Ms. Baker was unaccountably badass.
In RPGs, the Dancer is sort of an upside-down and backwards Bard. Where Bards can heal and support, Dancers can damage enemies and reduce their stats, or even cause status effects from a distance. Usually an exclusively female class, Dancers tend to be a little rare, and useful Dancers are even more uncommon, but its always nice to see them as an option just to have something to balance out the Bard. And why did I pick Dancer for Josephine Baker? Well, besides the obvious, her danse banane hit me with some serious debuffs.
18 – Rod Serling – Illusionist
Mr. Serling struck me as an Illusionist from the very first time I saw the show he is known best for, The Twilight Zone. As a class, Illusionists specialize in manipulating the perceptions of people – basically, lying to people with magic. The most powerful Illusionists can create unbreakable visions that can transport people to another world. And this is basically what Rod Serling did. With a few words, a single script, he could transport you to a world where the sun never rises, where living slot machines stalk their victims, or where a child’s wish can change your fate.
This was one of the harder designs I’ve done this month, for a number of reasons. Firstly, Ol’ Rod’s design is pretty much set in stone. That black suit, his cigarette, that cocked eyebrow, they’re all a big part of Mr. Serling’s character. Unfortunately, they’re not particularly well-suited to a fantasy design, and the fact that the Illusionist is a very poorly-defined class (visually speaking) helps not at all.
#15, 16 & 17 – The Marx Brothers – Mime
Something big and fancy for the midpoint of the challenge, ladies and gentlemen! The Marx Brothers are, without reservation, my favorite comedians of all time. They use a brilliant mixture of slapstick, wordplay, and atrocious, paint-curling puns to create some of the most hilarious movies known to man. Their influence on comedy can hardly be overstated; I find it hard to believe that there is a comedian on the face of the planet who has not been influenced in some way by the Marx Brothers.
Though mostly seen as slightly creepy, silent clowns in real life, Mimes in role-playing games tend to be massively powerful, very sought-after classes. The root of their strength lies in their ability to copy the moves of other characters, often without paying the costs associated with those moves. In fact, a popular tactic with the Mime is to have all of the characters in a party become Mimes, then have one of them cast a huge, costly, powerful spell, and then have the whole party mimic the attack turn after turn, dealing huge amounts of damage. This is the main reason I felt the Mime class was so appropriate for these three: given their huge influence, there are a vast number of comedians that could be said to be Miming the Mime.
14 – Orson Welles – Orator
I have to admit, there was a fair amount of competition for the Orator class. The ability to speak well has been the cornerstone of a large number of famous careers, both political and for entertainers. Orson Welles, shown here in his later, huskier years, eventually clinched it for his sheer range. Mr. Welles is perhaps best known for his broadcast of H.G. Wells’ The War of the Worlds which made half the country crap their pants, but he also lent his voice to such bizarre endeavors as The Jack Benny Show, Macbeth, and commercials for jelly. He was even the voice of a world-eating robot in Transformers: The Movie!
Flexibility tends to be the hallmark of the Orator class. Capable of a wide variety of strategies and abilities, the Orator usually uses unusual voice-based skills with effects no other class has. For example, in Final Fantasy Tactics, the Orator is the only class that can convince an enemy to permanently join your side. The Orator is actually pretty rare, with most games running out of space long before they reach this humble chatterbox. It’s a bit of a shame, as I believe the Orator brings a bit of class to any game.
13 – Jerry Thomas – Chemist
There’s a lot of focus in history on the big players; your Generals, your Presidents, your Attillas the Hun. But history is full of people whose accomplishments never really made it out of their own subculture, but that doesn’t make them any less significant. Take Jerry Thomas, for example. A bartender in the mid-19th century, Mr. Thomas wrote a book called The Bar-Tender’s Guide, a work which more or less writes out the basic theory behind creating cocktails. That’s right, this doughy, middle-aged guy with the fancy vest basically invented the mixed drink. His inventions include the Tom Collins, the Martinez (a sort of proto-Martini), and the Blue Blazer, the precursor of all flaming alcoholic drinks. So even though Mr. Thomas never rode into war, never signed a treaty or ruled a nation, his impact on history is still felt today.
The Chemist, sometimes known as the Salve-Maker or Alchemist, is one of the more basic classes found in RPGs today. Focused around creating and using items, Chemists tend to be the most basic of healing classes, with abilities that quickly outlive their usefulness. Still, in some games, with the right setups, the Chemist can become quite useful. Sometimes they even get a unique Mix command, which allows them to combine and use items in battle, boosting their healing or offensive abilities to useful levels. Though seldom a high-impact class, the Chemist remains a personal favorite of mine.
#30Characters Chatter…