1# Michael the Disgruntled Duck

Hey, waddya you say about my beak!

Michael “The Disgruntled” Drake

Michael was one of the scientist effected in what would later go on to be be known as  “The Great Ani-Malfunction”. Michael was working to discover whether or not ducks actually have echoes at CERN when the LHC exploded fusing his being with a duck. Whilst the other scientist were imbued with the powers of other more popular/cute/powerful animal Michael was stuck with the duck, the annoying loser or the ornithological world.

Whilst the other scientists used their new abilities to time travel, fight crime and get laid Michael gained very few truely useful abilities other than making quite a convincing Donald the Duck cosplayer, Michael continues to work at CERN but since his department was destroyed he now just works in the HR department.

This mutation and lack of direction in life sent Michael into a downward spiral of depression. Also his wife left him on the grounds that “I can’t love a duck! I can’t kiss a duck! THEY DON’T HAVE LIPS!”.

At the end of his tether Michael has taken to drinking and picking fights in bars. Being a nerd by nature and now afflicted with the hollow bones of a bird he rarely wins. However there is a faint glimmer of hope.

One night, whilst incredibly drunk, Michael decided to take his life and jump off a bridge. He survived however. Not entirely sure how he did so, he has begun working on the theory that he must be capable of flight. If this is so, Michael plans to break free from the remnants of human society and join his feathered cousin, soaring into freedom and his future.

Also he plans to poop on his wife’s new boyfriend.

Category: 2011, Humor, Scifi, WTF