#6 Mayor Randolph Nichol

Mayor Randolph Nichol is a portly fellow with rosy red cheeks, a perfect part in his hair and a bushy moustache. His forehead is usually glistening with a thin coat of sweat. He smiles and goes about his business with an awkward, nervous sort of energy. During election years you can find him bouncing around as he shakes your hand and then the next person’s and the next, thanking us all for the support. Hardly the kind of person one would expect to be the “most powerful man in Ephton Valley,” but really how many politicians are what you would expect?

The hilarious thing is that he almost always runs unopposed. Elections in Ephton Valley are determined by who actually cares enough to run, more than by who is actually qualified. And no one I have ever known cares about running for mayor. In a town this small, where very little changes and the biggest crimes are underage drinking, there’s not really much to do. Yet Mayor Nichol seems constantly terrified that he may lose his office.

In the early 2000’s Mayor Nichol read about the New York City mayor who takes the subway to work every day like an “average citizen.” Inspired, Nichol decided he too would stop taking his city-provided car to work. But there is no public transportation in Ephton Valley, so he began walking. It’s particularly funny to see him during the hot summer days, dressed up in his suit, waddling down the block, handkerchief in hand, wiping the sweat off his brow while the goofy, nervous smile never, ever leaves his face.

Mayor Nichol really just wants to be a great mayor. He wants to work hard and make Ephton Valley a better place. The problem is he’s just not a very intelligent person. The result is a frightened little man, incapable of making decisions. I imagine him in front of a mirror every morning making self affirmations and promising himself that, if he gets re-elected, he really will make some serious changes and improvements to this town.

Unfortunately, that lack of self confidence also makes him particularly easy prey for those would would want to take advantage of what little power he does have. When a man like Blake Lewis comes back to Ephton Valley with promise of riches, Mayor Nichol perks up. And when Lewis pretends to be at his service, well you can bet Nichol will jump on the opportunity.

Mayor Nichol was the first person Lewis visited upon his return. He showered the mayor with compliments. Lewis told Nichol everything he had ever wanted to hear: “you are doing a great job, I respect your position, I respect you. I want to help Ephton Valley grow even more but I cannot do it without your support.” Look up news footage of the press conference in which Nichol tells the story and you can see the childlike giddiness in his face.

In his sad mind, Mayor Nichol believes he is responsible for Lewis’s radical transformation of Ephton Valley. And in a way, he is. His weak will made him the perfect target for a con. He may be a very nice man, but next election day, do not vote for Randolph Nichol. He means well, he really does, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Copyright © 2010, Rolando Garcia.
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