Author Archive: poinko

#6 Lava Gologoth

The Lava Gologoth is a massive elemental titan imbued with all of the heat and pressure of the core of the planet and all of the strengths that come with it. The Lava Gologoth can create mountain ranges and active volcanoes almost at pure whimsy, by continually stomping around underground and forcing new mountains up on the surface.

Standing at a staggering 2500 feet tall, it’s a mountain of  a monster; its footprints can obliterate most smaller cities and communities. Ancient tomes of worshippers declare that the Lava Gologoth will someday return to the surface of the world where it will reclaim the mountains and soil as its kingdom; and all living creatures as its slaves. It’s a good thing that the Lava Gologoth doesn’t realy exist!

…right?

#5 First Mate Appleby

The first mate of the Squidbeard Pirates’ Airbourne Division is almost as foul-tempered as her captain. Almost. Which is why he’s the captain and she isn’t.

Appleby can easily hold her own in a fight with even the surliest of pirates, as she is quite skilled with broadswords and scimitars, despite her small frame. She absolutely adores riches and jewels, and insists on all of her clothes made out of the finest silks and cloths the pirates have lifted from all the exotic ports they’ve landed. She gets first pick among the jewels and fabrics because if she doesn’t she’ll cut you down like the filthy green sea pig you is. *spit*

#4 Captain Squidbeard

Captain Squidbeard is one of the most feared, most hated and most wanted pirates of all time. His rotten deeds include such meanness as plunderin’ booty, ransacking, pillaging, scuttling, stealing candy from children, name-calling, tattling, spittin’ in a no-spittin’ zone, not sharing toys during playtime, cursin’ in church and just plain bein’ not very nice at all. With a rap sheet 12 knots long, it means every government in the world has their eyes peeled for this rapscallion. So how’s the world single most wanted criminal going to freely move about the world when even his own mom would turn him in?

Command a fleet of skyships, a-doy.

#3 Grab Crabbler

The faux lord of the ocean, Grab Crabbler, bullies and pushes around the weaker citizens of the sea in order to get his way. Decked out in barnacles and starfish which he pretends are war medals and a long, flowing octopus cloak, Grab paints himself to be more benevolent than he really is. In truth, he’s probably one of the world’s most cowardly creatures, turning tail at the sight of any perceived threat.

Pretty ridiculous, considering he’s 15 feet tall and weighs 700 lbs.