Author Archive: Fred
Fred 29: Ruya Roshan
A strange glow coming from the gatekeeper’s fingertips was pointed at us, we did not know what it was, but we did not trust it; She had a reputation as gatekeeper to uphold and we were not to be the ones to sully it.
Fred 28: Suhayl Hubert
“Yeah, I been living in this part of the forest for… I dunno, twenty years or so? Yeah, about that. What I think about the new factory? I think it’ll bring jobs, like they say it, but that don’t mean I trust them. I done good for myself without working for the humans until now, and I don’t see why it’d be needed now. I dunno. I guess we’ll see, eh? One thing for sure, it’ll get busy ’round these parts. “
Fred 25: Heanriette Laroche
Looking straight into your eyes, she raises her fist and whispers “Rock on”, and you know she understands.
Everything will be alright now.
Fred 22: Michael Nedson
Michael is an escaped prisoner with a sword.
Escape the prison! Explore a vast open world! Uncover Michael’s misterious past! None of those will ever happen!
Fred 21: Chidiebere
We found her sitting at the foot of the mountain, just as the groundskeeper told us we would. She knew who we were, but could hardly care for our problems. She said if we needed her help to see our destiny, we were on the wrong path. “If there was a really big boulder in your path, or if you were attacked by an elephant, then perhaps I could help you. Nothing good could come of knowing your future.”
We all agreed that she was the most useless oracle EVER.
Fred 19: Mario
19.
Mario is now facing you with his trusty brass knuckles. “You done fucked up this time”, he says, “you think you can get away with our secrets like that? You think you’re untouchable? I can find ten trannies better suited for the job just by throwing a rock in the street!” And then he suddenly moves in to strike you. What do you do?
- If you try to fight him head-on, go to 68;
- If you attempt to run away, go to 230;
- If you think blackmail can still reason him, go to 85;
- If you want to remind him that really, being a transvestite has nothing to do with the job, go to 141
Fred 18: Johana Pitt
Mayor Pitt’s strong rule has managed to keep the town safe from the marauders for the last twenty years. I’m affraid to think where we’d be without her…
Fred 17: David Lachance
17.
You start shaving in a hurry, cursing yourself for always pushing things to the last minute. One day that bad habit will be the death of you. The phone rings: It’s Mario… That day may have already come. Mario is angry, he asks you why you’re not there already…
- If you want to lie to Mario, go to 45;
- If you want to tell Mario to suck a dick, you’ll be there when you’ll be there, go to 130;
- If you want to tell Mario the whole story, go to 8;
- If you want to drop the phone in the sink, go to 20;
Fred 16: Kitty Fashion
Kitty Fashion’s new line of kitty fashion came out to mixed reactions from the critics.
Fred 15: Alia
After killing the beast, we started feeling uneasy about it. Obviously, it was intelligent. Maybe it didn’t have to be evil, maybe it just made some bad life choices. Maybe, once, it was innocent…
Fred 14: Eric Flintman
Out of nowhere, Eric appeared, saying “Come winter, I will be feasting on your bones” and then offered us some tea.
We did not drink it.
Fred 13: Moose?
Pointing to something strange in the distance, I ask:
-“What is that thing?”
-“It’s a moose, innit?” he answers.
-“Mate, I don’t know how you make mooses where you’re from, but you’re doing it WRONG.”
Fred 12: The dreaded ghost of Alphonse Lorens
Alphonse always dreamed of being a pirate, so when he died at sea and came back as a ghost, he thought ‘yeah, that could work.’
Fred 09: Nabla Nabla
Nabla does not believe in free will; It’s not that she WANTS to seduce you and eat your guts, it’s that she HAS to.
Fred 08: Roger Swampson
Roger is an old school movie editor. He is saddened by the disappearance of film in the industry.
Fred 05: Shanie Nona
Shanie’s job is to build giant robots, specifically the brains. She very good at it. Her employers’ dress code is formal, hence the tie.
Fred 02: The Illuminated
No one knows who he was. All that is known is that one cold winter’s night, Death came to him and, instead taking him away, offered him enlightenment.
Fred 01: Joe-Joel Johnson
Joe-Joel’s sweater is possessed by the souls of laughing demons. It sucks.
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