16 – The Lion of Assur

Despite their reputation for glamour and daring, sometimes the people in the profession of Adventurer-Archeologists make mistakes.  The Lion of Assur is possibly the most notable and well publicised incident  which bought the profession into disrepute.  In 1962, the Oxford University contacted one Texas Smith, a world reknowned expert on ancient languages to come decipher a tablet that some students had uncovered in Syria.  Texas deciphered them to be describing  “The Lion of Assur – the greatest weapon known to man, a weapon that can level cities, crush armies and should it not be hidden, unstoppable as it is, it will destroy the world”.  It went onto describe how a peace deal made had included the permenant hiding of the Lion to prevent its abuse.  Texas immediatly set off on a several week long adventure involving Nazi’s, gunfights, motorbike chases and lots of snakes. 

When the Lion of Assur was revealled however… it was a bit of a let down.  While a giant 120m tall mechanical man is undoubtedly impressive, Texas and his Nazi foes hadn’t taken into account the ancient Assyrians ability for hyberbole, and while it could certainly have defeated ancient buildings and crushed armies armed with bronze weapons – but, it turned out that it had not only decayed a little in its long history, but thin sheets plate enough to protect from a sword or arrow turned out to be no match for a standard modern gun.  The whole affair took Texas Jones decades to live down even after he defeated some evil Mummies threatening Paris.  The Lion of Assur remained in storage for years, until eventually it was bought by a British Muslim businessman who is currently restoring it and upgrading it with modern materials so it can be used to fight the Giant Monsters that have been attacking cities more often in recent years. 

Category: 2011, Drama, Fantasy, Scifi