#8 Hunky Guy with Nail Gun and No Shirt
So, about 12 years ago I remember some Diet Pepsi commercial where some horny old office cougars (term may be anachronistic, but still appropriate for the purposes of this story) ran from cubicle to cubicle alerting each other of the time, they all then rushed to their buildings corner window (you know, the one next to the office of the person who actually cared about his/her job, but who are we kidding, this was over a decade ago, so it was definitely a HIS office) so anyway, these chirping birds press themselves against the glass ceiling, I mean, uh, the glass window, ogling some poor construction worker as he strips down and chugs a diet pepsi (btw: if this were real life, OCEA would have had his ass for violating like at least four major construction zone regulations). The women then melt into massive human shaped puddles of estrogen and giggles, and agree to re-rendezvous at the same window tomorrow to again marginalize this reckless diet pepsi chugging meat sack. Â So why has this commercial been burned into my brain? I shrug my shoulders and direct my palms skyward…I have no idea, but it has. Â So I thought I might take the main character of this commercial, you know, the one treated like a zoo animal, and create a killer back story, give him a cool name, let him build skyscrapers, drink diet pepsi AND fight crime…Well, I never got that far. Â Instead, I just drew this topless hunk, gave him a nail gun and now offer him to you. Â Call me in 12 years and tell me if he is still haunting your nightmares.
Category: 2011
About the Author (Author Profile)
My father was a surely sea captain, my mother was an Atlantean Princess: their love was forbidden and I was bred from their sin. I have spent my life battling the demons of my parents’ indiscretion, but with grit and determination I have proven myself worthy to take my rightful place on the throne of Atlantis. As the might-sovereign lord of all sub-aquatic existence my number one priority is the preservation of my kingdom. Though I have a host of undersea adversaries, the threat they pose is truly minimal compared to the capabilities of my one true enemy, the Human Race. Their lust for dominance has too often threatened the sanctity of my empire, and I shall not wait a second longer for their inevitable attack. Instead, with the armies of Atlantis and all able bodied creatures in my domain, I shall take the war to the surface-dwellers. We will ravage the shores of man-kind with crushing waves of sea-water and power; no human is innocent and so no human shall escape my imperial judgment. All air-sucking life will suffer by my decree! IMPERIOUS REX!Subscribe
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