#9 – Dormere Velhandel

“Trust me, sir, if it weren’t for the fact that your magic pays for my chiropractor, I wouldn’t be here picking lint out of your toes.”

Dormere Velhandel is the right hand man to Haltenti, or at least, when Haltenti remembers to pay him.

Dormere suffers from a myriad of personal and medical problems. Along with a really bad hunchback (and a bad back in general), he suffers from anger mangement problems alongside depression. Doctors have put him on all sorts of medications for these problems… and it just creates more. His current set of pills has him in a sort of numb stupor, while his anger problems are not quite as surpressed as they should be.

So, the result is that Dormere has a very dry, passive-aggressive attitude and contempt for the world. He usually takes it out on the arrogant twit in pink who he has to take care of. He loathes Haltenti and makes no attempt to hide it – as long as he doesn’t make fun of Haltenti’s height, everything he says just bounces off anyway. However, Haltenti pays well, and Dormere is devoted and loyal to those who pay his bills… and only when they pay his bills. Spouting his dry, caustic demeanor and verbal abuse towards Sir Pan Gherten seems to be almost cathartic for Dormere, and perhaps is the only thing getting him through his daily hell of being Haltenti Pan Gherten’s paid assistant.

Dormere is capable of magic, though he knows very little, and he does not make a very good bodyguard. Instead, he merely serves as Haltenti’s personal assistant, doing anything and everything that Haltenti wishes at the time, as long as Haltenti doesn’t try to make him find more beautification spells, or women for him to try to date. He’s only an assistant, not a miracle worker.

Dormere enjoys seafood, rainy days, and holds a secret desire to be a painter. Not that he’s any good at it, but he tries.

Category: 2011, Fantasy, Humor